13

it has been a long time since
i have cleared the ash
from the bottom of the fire
to place cedar on glowing embers

to save something that has been forgotten
but has not gone out
like you waking up, as
we walk up the stairs

in my room it is still cold
under two blankets and wool sweaters
i can feel warmth
like arms around me

and today my mom asked
if i feel more grown up
-Hannah

Looking through vertical blinds half open
Disrupts the strong December morning sun
Smoke alarms and carols won't awaken
Stirring only after arms wrap me up

Under the sun we still feel the wind's chill
It is too much, the 6 hour divide
I can't hold you enough to weaken it
Holding on tighter than ever, please stay

Drive into glaring sunlight, road floats on
So quiet, the warmth trapped under the glass
We don't speak, looking into blinding rays
Roll down the window, smoke curls slowly rise

Reaching out after a year has passed by
Lonesome for foreign seas and shores and skies
-KM

12

two weekends spent
in each others beds
placed in a pattern
set inside a window

each weekend
is taken over
by sleeping
and somewhere

in the middle
we are waking up
in order to piece together
late minutes of hours

i'm glad
you're here
-Hannah

Steep angles of wood take up so much time
One place to the next, only home to sleep
Paint a fake smile on your face
It will make the money

Behind the scenes we see how false it is
Its their lives, they can keep it, I have no need
Start a job then quit the next day
Can't see me doing it

One man's trash is another man's night out
Trade it for two seats in front of a screen
Ten foot tall black and white flashes
The piano plays

Other people taking your time away
One night to breathe relieves drain from these days
-KM

11

i start to worry
when my mind begins to stray
to other sides of the country
there are so many places.

stand on platforms
and feel my heart move
with the bass drum and banjo.
when i think i know the words to that song,

i worry.
when i make an internal list:
cities, states, houses by the water
a dog, a bunny, field guides, fires

and you know? i'm so young.
i'm still learning how to take care of myself.
-Hannah

Blue satin
Ten minutes
Sliding doors
Backing up

Through doorways
White ceilings
Bamboo shoots
Just waiting

Brown paper
Covers walls
Heat exits
Through windows

Walk against
Winter's wind
-KM

10

in one year i wore my hair back
sat outside with my father
started slowly
dry leaves, thin sticks

things that smoked
caused a signal
a smell that lives
ash that stays

all this
by the dogwood tree
under the back porch
a struggle for it

to survive
to remember
-Hannah



looking through a friend's photographs
people and places I don't know
some now dead, most nearly
(must've been fun)

boxes filled with objects and papers
forgotten, neglected, not needed
sort, discard, pack away what remains
gather dust in a new place

the similar heroes re-appear
why can't we be more like them
running into people from the past
and still haven't done anything

standing on a cold balcony
disconnect the night
-KM

9

outside my parent's window

many birds are looking in

hallow bones and feathers fractured

in streams of sunlight

in one window

my parents, on the second floor

are looking out

because their bed has become

a water fall, that rushes and gushes

from the well, constructed

1964, my father's father

iron soaked

separate from the rest

it is not alone
-Hannah



at the train station, the night has settled
cars rush by, headlights float on as white orbs
the sound of their tires over gravel
the smell of the sea quietly settles

behind the wheel of mom's car, stare ahead
the rhythm of the tires' rotation
soft green glow of the dashboard through the dark
space between streetlights, one hand on the wheel

in an unfamiliar room, sleep sitting
morning sun through the windows warms the room
its light can be felt, even through closed eyes
content; still, melancholy comes in waves

homesick for a home that no longer is
Home
-KM

8

there are listings for tiny houses
all over, in states and on borders
on land or wandering with wheels
so, in spare moments, daydreams

of pulling out the good bowls and
bringing all big picture books and
nearly 100 sheets stacked and
making raised beds in sunshine

all this while eating lunch standing up
or sitting on the subway ears covered
all this sitting in a circle with children
or passing doorways and windows

the future grows in a tiny room with
soft voices and candles and flannel
-Hannah

Water runs wide, it nourishes the land
After winter it carries the snow away
Their spring union, it was something unplanned
Carelessness keeps them bonded to this day

A dream saved up for, by penny, by dime
With the passing of time, their dream crumbled
Much too tired to continue their climb
Efforts fell short, they started to stumble

Inspections to pass and contracts to sign
Spaces to empty and boxes to fill
Eighteen years to sort through in one month's time
Pack it up with these dreams left unfulfilled

These rooms will be filled with echoes and dust
Spaces emptied, memories kept with us
-KM

7

there are always 7 days
1 moon in the sky
while many eyes look
for colors

6 sets of walking feet
right eye revolts
1 big blanket of fog
out over water

at night in a basement
8 voices sing out
many mouths smile
and pairs of eyes

time passes
7 x 24
-Hannah



up in rooms, walk through unfamiliar doors
construct illusions of products for sale
rush around in cabs, hours spent in stores
erase traces, impatient for the mail

flowers tied with string hang from the ceiling
one by one they dry, slipping from their knots
afternoon: headphones on, eyes closed, healing
movie on for noise, don't follow the plot

less sneezing today, but math does not add
over and over play the same five songs
it is temporary, this feeling bad
notes echo through hallway, narrow and long

"I don't want to set the world on fire,
I just want to start a flame in your heart."
-KM

6

Wherever I go, my mess comes along
Shirts, socks, and paper stuffed into a sack
Through darkness, the red porch light glows so strong
Fall asleep sitting, staring into black

Bare grey trees blur as we speed down country roads
Wait in the car, listen to oldies play
Flames flicker and grow, casting shades of gold
Re-live the same hour twice in one day

Wind through the hills, breathe in deep the morning
Abandoned cabins, only bricks remain
Look through glass: outside, inside, traveling
Lines of red and white lights fill highway lane

Return to crowded streets, loud noises, bright lights
Return to our own homes, own beds, own lives
-KM

my teeth are like tiny soldiers
in a divided state
1/2 are ready to desert
leaving the other 1/2 so lonely

but my mouth and my head are connected
they cannot leave without those
so that the 1/2 ready to desert
tremble in angry pause

The others pour hot tea
and hold ice cubes hostage
sit-in silence
try to remember each other

it's not an emergency,
yet.
-Hannah

5

When it snows at the end of October

you and I must spend sunday in bed

or walk down sunny streets

to sit in chairs

When we are eating breakfast

in a room with walls

we must look around

and on our plates

There are eggs and potatoes

toast and small containers of jam

to my right tea in a tall glass

across from me is you

these things are talking to us

if we are talking back?

-Hannah

Cut up metal cans and shreds of silver
Pushed under the plastic mat, covered up
With heat so high and dry no moisture survives
Open windows and loosely straighten up

Above the curtains large white can be seen
Unseasonably cold for October
With heat so high no moisture survives
The snow is easily forgotten here

Friends with their friends stand around, talk, and laugh
So young it is sad to think of aging
With heat so high no moisture survives
It breaks up sleep and inspires strange dreams

Walking through morning patches of sunlight
Outside is such a relief from this heat

-KM

4

each day
getting darker
minutes earlier
&

getting colder
so my window
stays
&

feathered
blankets
come out
&

i will need you to keep
me warm
-Hannah


sounds travel in ripples up stairs, through walls
this heat needs escape, it needs room to breathe
with one twist, muscle memory recalls
turn it off, consciousness begins to leave

a few short trips help to change surroundings
three times with knees leaning up against a chair
dreams are welling up while thoughts are drowning
through this darkness traveling elsewhere

direction does not matter, left or right
away is a place, a destination
hours pass like minutes, day into night
plans need a last-minute cancellation

fall's chill enters through the drafty window
pull blankets closer, close eyes, then thoughts go
-KM

3

set your week inside a job application:

i am qualified to wake up each morning
especially if it is not sunny.
& self-start my morning routine.

i am capable of meeting children
with stickers and smiles
i can create an environment
discuss patterns that repeat.

and in the past, past weeks
look! all this accomplished
cleaning dishes and walking
being here

lose hope
to gain hope back
-Hannah



Remember when
there were so
many
dreams

Remember when
you never
stopped to
look

Remember when
urgency
drove you
on

Remember to be here now, use this time
To make your life what you want it to be
-KM

2

At the beginning of the week it rained
online the sky was clouded
there was no sun, so
I will make lists for you + you + me

Some times in lists I try to decide
what is important to remember
Lots of times I end up thinking about
laundry + trees + you + saints

Other times I make notes in
conversations with other people
Sarah smiles, Kim's eye + guts
people pass, people stay

This time I sit in a chair
that keeps changing
blue on blue on blue on blue
-turn it around.

Through all times-
keep the energy pretty, babe.
-Hannah

Sheets and blankets wrapped up in cool, blue light

Gold strands dangle and dance above my head

Softly it transitions to day from night

Listen to the silence, lie still in bed

Climb into seats, after walking through cars

Large green letters flash destination names

Lights scattered, like a night sky filled with stars

Station to station, exit or board trains

6am, load into the silver van

Belt too tight, use window to rest my head

Stare through glass while they’re forming today’s plan

Lights lull me to sleep, patterns white and red

Shift so subtle from awake to asleep

Into dreams these last visions gently seep

-KM

1

a list of things to do everyday:

yawn loudly and stretch upward

watch out of windows

talk in circles

a list of things to do:

scrub dishes and wash hair

think about home

draw circles

a list:

walk

talk

circles

through out

hands holding hands

-Hannah

Looking up, not sure how it came to be
How strange it is to wake up on the floor
Memory and senses return slowly
Eyes focus on men walking through the door

Blurry ride, wobbly walk, head wrapped in gauze
Lives sustained by the scattered beeping sound
Dr. says dehydration was the cause
You save me from collapsing on the ground

Spanish infomercials play while muted
Pain in my stomach and chills up my spine
Screams 'cause she's getting electrocuted
Under fluorescent lights, your hand in mine

Squeeze your hand: she sews in seven stitches

Cab home, sleep, sleep, eat, medicine, more sleep

Three days: sleep, careful steps, and eye twitches

But something quiet happened, something deep

Missed the farm, missed the act, missed autumn sun

But looking up, I found a reason.

-KM